WWE RAW Reflections – 24/03/2008
-OMG IT IS A WEEK AWAY FROM WRUSSLEMUNYA!~~@!~Q AND I AM… Underwhelmed. I haven’t been this underwhelmed by WrestleMania since… WrestleMania 21. Like, honestly. And I’m fucking tired. Oh well, let’s get this RAW over with.
-Opening promo has…. Almost every main eventer on RAW taking turns at hyping their specific match. I was busy at the time, so I didn’t watch it. However, I am REALLY upset that I missed UMAGA on a live mic. That would have been fucking awesome.
-Oh yeah, eight-man tag, WrestleMania showcase, blah blah blah.
-Why do I get the feeling MVP will win the Money In The Bank Ladder Match? Not that I’m complaining, I think it will kick ass. I just think, of all the rest (since the clear winner, Jeff Hardy is gone), MVP just feels like he’s the favourite. Also, I could get REALLY used to this whole “Good wrestlers on RAW” trend that’s going on, what with this Jericho & Punk vs. MVP and Carlito match.
-Also, where the fuck was MVP’s awesome Inflatable entrance? BOOO.
-Ken Kennedy is here with some WrestleMania predictions. Flair? Gone. Undertaker? Defeated. Kennedy? WWE Champion by the end of the night. I do want Kennedy to win for this very reason. Any match where I want The H’s to win makes it a terrible match.
-Yeah, that’s right. I’d rather see Triple H be WWE Champion for the 11 billionth time, than have GODDAMN JOHN CENA, or Randy “Do-Nothing” Orton win.
-Wow, I’m making a lot of asides today.
-Classy Ric Flair tribute video, even though I hate the guy. If I didn’t know any better, I’d say this was his last RAW ever… Speaking of Grumpy Old Flair, He’s mad at Old Man Hickenbottom! OH NOES.
-Sometime this past week, Big Show was training for his FAKE match against REAL fighter Floyd Mayweather. From what I saw, all it consisted of was Big Show watching television.
-I honestly do not remember The TALL Khali vs. Bob Holly. I recall the entrances, but not the match. Maybe my brain decided to block it out because it was just THAT terrible. Thank you, brain.
-Back from commercial, Flair is in the ring in the Carolinas FOR THE LAST TIME. EVAR. And he’s yelling. Especially at Shawn Michaels. He also has a present for Shawn Michaels. Straight from Ric’s rumpus room, it’s Ric Flair’s first NWA World Title!… That looks like it’s been used as a toy by his snotnosed kids. I’m surprised WWE had the balls to drag out a belt whose design is legal property of a different company, and once was that OTHER Company’s World Title. Ric just kept getting angrier and angrier, until Shawn makes an Old Yeller remark, which sent him over the edge, ending the promo on a really awkward note. Also, for such an important belt (that looks like it’s been kept in a cardboard box in Flair’s dampened basement or garage), it was getting tossed around a lot.
-FUCK YOU, FLOYD MAYWEATHER.
-Melina vs. Maria… awkwardly turns into Melina, Beth and Eurotrash Superstar vs. Maria, Jerry STUPID Lawler, and… OH GOOD. Ashley Massaro. I am so glad that ASHLEY MASSARO gets another chance to wrestle at WrestleMania. Because, clearly, Ashley Massaro is SUCH A HOT FUCKING COMMODITY in professional wrestling, that she was going to SIT THE FUCK OUT of WrestleMania this year with NOTHING TO DO. Clearly because AHSLEY MASSARO AT WRESTLEMANIA would have overshadowed everything else, and would make the roster look bad. But, I guess since WWE is just JONESING for buyrates, they decided to bust out this SECRET WEAPON.
-Seriously, send her the fuck back to China, because she’s about as useful and physically attractive as a hamper of sweaty jock straps. Oh yeah, if it isn’t obvious, I clearly don’t care about this match.
-In the back, John Cena is chilling with his homeboys from the ‘hood (do teenagers still talk like that?), the most chillin’ n’ illin people he knows… Val Venis and Cody Rhodes. Seriously, it was like a Saltine convention. And to make things even MORE white, here comes The H’s, the guy who once had a line of apparel that featured NAZI-THEMED designs. Cena and the H’s made sure we knew that they no like each other.
-Some guy is singing another country’s national anthem at WrestleMania this Sunday. Why is it that no one sang Oh Canada at WrestleMania VI or 18?
-We’ll get our final inductee into the 2008 WWE Hall of Fame this week on WWE’s Hour Allotment For Sports-Entertainment Programming on Sci Fi. Like anyone cares.
-Lawler and Ross run down the really boring WrestleMania card. Yawn.
-The Main Event was BLAH. Basically the heel side was whittled down to just Randy Orton for whatever reasons, and ended with Flair winning his last match on TV, in Carolina, and probably ever. YAY. Now put his old ass out to pasture.
-All in All… Yeah, I’m not feeling it. Then again, I haven’t been feeling WrestleMania since January since Cena came back and won the Royal Rumble. At least last year’s WrestleMania had some matches worth getting excited over. The ONLY match I care about this year is the Money in the Bank Match, which is sad, as it’s basically a High Spot filler match. They could do SOOO MUCH with the seven guys in that match, and they’re kind of just wasting them. Especially Chris Jericho. He makes a big return, we’re promised BIG things, and he’s basically sent back to where he was three months before his last run a few years ago. . The only good thing about this year’s WrestleMania is that Flair is GONE this time next week.
-END.
