WWE RAW Reflections – 23/06/2008

-Hello everyone and welcome to the RAW Reflections!  Today, it’s an EXTRA-SPECIAL “3-Hour Roster Draft/Dialing For Dollars” Episode!  YES, combining two WWE Creative ideas I absolutely hate!  However, with the Draft, last year, RAW managed to get rid of some wrestlers I absolutely HATE (Tall Khali, Chris Masters, Big Daddy V) and get some wrestlers I REALLY like (Kennedy, King Booker, Londrick).  Also, whenever WWE does one of these tri-branded shows, they usually put on some badass matches.  With that, we segue into our HOT OPENER…

-The H’s vs. Mark Henry?  YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWN.  On commentary tonight, we have JR and Lawler, Cole and Mick Foley, Mike Adamle and THE TAZZ!!!  This match sucked, RAW gets a draft pick, and the draftee is….

-Rey Mysterio!  Wow, ok.  That is pretty cool, actually.  Alright, score one for me!

-Back from Break, Vince McMahon’s Dialing For Dollars:  Vince tells some lady that she gave him the wrong password, even though it wasn’t, and Kelly Kelly, of all people corrected the error.  Not even out of the gate, and this week’s Dialing For Dollars is a big clusterfuck!

-In the back, the H’s scares the shit out of me by telling Rey that he’s always wanted to “Work” with him. OMG HE BROKD TEH KAYFABES!~@!@  Cena arrives, and The H’s excuses Rey so they can argue.  Grown-up talk, you see.

-Back at ringside, It’s INTERNATIONAL COMEDY TEAMS COLLIDE!  Eurotrash Superstar (representing Italy) and Carlito (The Caribbean) vs. Finlay (Northern Ireland) and Hornswoggle (Imaginationland).  Wow, second week in a row, second opportunity for WWE to punish Carlito for being lippy, and they don’t do it?  Total RVD situation here.  Anyway, SmackDown wins the pick, and they get…

-Jeff Hardy.  Teenage girls everywhere will be bummed out on Monday nights, now.  C’est La Vie.  Backstage, Randy Orton is watching in a creepy manner.  Ok?

-Dialing For Dollars:  Vince McMahon invites Randy Orton (who apparently hears voices in his head) to help him give away money, but Randy’s all “NUH UH!”  Vince makes Edge vs. Cena tonight.  Fucking Sweeeet.  Also, stupid person wins money.

-OH YAY.  Mike Adamle gets to call a match!  With Jerry Lawler!  Ugh.  It’s Chavo and BAM NEELY (inconspicuous by their absences are Dwayne Gretzky, Clark Messier, and Ted Belfour.  HOCKEY HUMOUR LOL) vs.  Plywood Cody Rhodes and Baldcore Holly.  Ted Dibiase Jr. is there on commentary, and to also shill his dad’s book.  RAW wins the pick, and they get…

-CM Punk.  God DAMN.  Two for two tonight, here.

-Back from Break, Chris Jericho is here!  To cut another FUCKING AWESOME HEEL PROMO.  I wish he would have riled up the crowd more, seeing as they were in San Antonio, but oh well.  They air the same video package they did a year ago, when Shawn was being untrustworthy, and Lance Cade is Live Via Satellite (I thought ALL WWE talent had to be at RAW…?  AND HE’S ON RAW ANYWAY!), and considers himself the best student Shawn Michaels ever taught.  You know, aside from Bryan Danielson.  Paul London.  Brian Kendrick.  Matt Bentley.  LAX’s Hernandez.  Milano Collection AT.  Yeah, these guys aside, Lance Cade is CLEARLY the best student Shawn Michaels ever taught.  Anyway, after that, Shawn comes down to brawl with Jericho, only to have HIS BAH GAWD DAMAGED EYE BAH GAWD driven into the corner of SmackDown’s Announce table, and Shawn Flail around like he was shot with a taser.

-SMART FUCKING BOOKING, having the Hardy Boys make a surprise reunion tonight.  It makes logical sense, really.  It also made logical sense to end the match, which was a GOOD match, actually, the way they did.  Mizorrison were the tag champs, and had a match this Sunday, and needed the win.  However, being HEELS, they had to cheat to do so.  So, The Third Brand wins the pick, and they get…
-Matt Hardy.  Well, that was short-lived.  I’d say it wouldn’t be a big deal, seeing as The Third Brand and SmackDown do that talent exchange thing, but isn’t the Third Brand supposed to start touring with RAW, starting in August?

-Dialing For Dollars:  Vince McMahon and Ric Flair are friends again this week, FOR NO RAISON!  Whooo and such.

-ANNOUNCERS DRAFT PICK MATCH!!!  OMG!!  SCAMCKDOWN COULD WIN BIG AND STEAL AWAY NADD GRISHAM!  OR RAW COULD NAB THAT LENA PERSON!!~!~@  OMG TEH POSSIBLITIES!!!  Anyway, this match is cut short, and ruled a double DQ.  Exchange of the night:

JR: Referee’s gotta make a decision here..
Mike Adamle: It’s a DQ!
JR: What’s that mean?
Adamle: Disqualificatioooooon!!

-…anyway, apparently RAW and SmackDown win a Pick each, which leads to…

-Jim Ross going to SmackDown.  JR is NOT HAPPY.  NOT HAPPY AT ALL to be going to SmackDown.

-Michael Cole.  Al is NOT HAPPY. NOT HAPPY AT ALL to have Michael Cole on RAW.

-Dialing For Dollars: Vince McMahon is here with THE TALL KHALI, who appears to have never seen a telephone before.  Because he’s from India, circa 1923, you see.  Two tries were taken here to get a winner, because the first schmuck picked up the phone and said “WRONG NUMBER.”  Wow.  It ends the best way it can, the TALL Khali screaming at a telephone.

-Back from Break, Edge vs. John Cena.  I REALLY like how the announcers, Foley especially, played up the significance and the past history of this match.  Why couldn’t he have come to RAW?  He seems like a fucking awesome colour commentator…  Anyway, Edge gets himself counted out intentionally after a REALLY decent match, which leads to B’TISTA ATTAX, and RAW getting YET another draft pick…

-B’TISTA.  It’s been far too long since I’ve made fun of him on a regular basis.  B’TISTA SMASH, WIN WURLD CHAMPYUNCHIP!!~  RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!

-Back from Break, it’s MVP (YESSSSSSSSSSSSS) vs. Tommy Dreamer, who looks like he’s been eating well.  Seriously, when did Tommy get so fat?  This one is pretty academic, and you know, I think I would enjoy hearing THE TAZZ bust Mike Adamle’s chops on a weekly basis.  It’s pretty funny.  Anyway, SmackDown wins the draft pick…

-UMAGA IS LEAVING RAW.   All good things have to come to an end, I guess…  Fare thee well, Samoan BullDOG…

-You know, I really like Kofi Kingston, I like everything about him, from his ring music to his style to his composure on TV.  Which is why John Breastshaw Layfield had to squash the kid horribly.  Fuck you, Breastshaw… Fuck you.  RAW wins YET ANOTHER pick…

-OH.  BOY.  Kane.  Yeah, like I missed seeing him a whole lot.  Whoooo….hoooo….  Wait, wasn’t Bobby Lashley stripped of the ECW Championship last year, when he went to RAW?  PRECIDENT AND CONSISTENCY, PEOPLE.

-15-Man Battle Royale Time!  You know, I like the concept of the “Team Battle Royale.”  It adds a new twist to my favourite gimmick match.  This one was pretty decent, despite the fact that the Third Brand was horribly embarrassed, here.  The running spear spot between Edge and B’TISTA was pretty cool as well.  Edge wins is for SmackDown and his Kayfabe Fiancée, and SmackDown gets two picks…

-Mr. Kennedy.  Well, that was fun for a year.  Dude ALMOST became a big star, and then had to get busted for drugs, falling back down the ladder.  I hope he can build himself back up.

And…

-The H’s.  I know what you’re thinking.  I should be celebrating that the H’s is leaving the show.  However, I am not.  Yet.  We have been fooled once before, if you’d recall..  A few years ago, he was supposed to go to SmackDown.  However, because he didn’t want to work Tuesdays, he was traded back to RAW for Booker T and the Dudleys.   I’ll celebrate when I’m sure it’s safe to.  I’m a cautious cat.

-Dialing For Dollars:  Vince gives away $500 000, and then the RAW stage falls apart and Vince is “HORRIBLY INJURED.”  Oh god.  Show over.

-All in all…  Well, the Draft certainly shook things up, didn’t it?  RAW’s main event scene changes COMPLETELY, however, not without taking some losses (Mr. Kennedy and Umaga… oh, and JR and Jeff Hardy, I guess).  The big news out of all this is the possibility of the H’s LEAVING RAW… oops, sorry, got a little excited.  Now, they’re saying that WWE really wants to make a big impact, when SmackDown changes networks in the fall, which adds much-needed hope to the H’s going away for good… but I’m not celebrating THAT yet…  Also, the Third Brand really took it up the ass tonight.  The only draftee they got was someone who was able to appear on the show already, no disrespect to Matt Hardy.  However, they lose CM Punk, they lose their World Champion, and were pretty humiliated tonight.  One can hope that a supplementary draft will be had to even things out.

-As for the Vince/ TERRIBLE ACCIDENT angle… TASTELESS.  BAD FUCKING FORM.  NOT ONLY is it the anniversary of the Benoit Incident (which brought a hasty end to last years’ “VINCE IS DEAD” angle), lest we forget, a few weeks ago, one of TNA’s ring crew seriously and actually died as a result of an accident involving the stage set for Slammiversary.  Seriously, that’s just fucking cold.  Yeah, I know.  Vince is off TV again, and the Dialing For Dollars thing is over, but it’s a little insensitive, don’t you think?  Not to mention, tonight REALLY should have been about the wrestlers…

-End.